Underdog (first scene)

INT. CUT ABOVE – DAY

For half past nine the salon has a fair few clients waiting, though most are pensioners with nothing better to do. They have a drink – either tea or coffee – to accompany their Friday morning gossip.

One young woman perches on the edge of the long sofa the clients are sharing. She stands out in her garish pink coat, matching lippy and immaculate appearance. While waiting for her appointment she has a good look around the salon, inspecting every detail, interaction, and transaction that occurs. She gets called over for her hair appointment and continues with this behaviour.

GEMMA NICHOLSON (23) is about to make a start on 71-year-old MRS CARTWRIGHT’s wet hair. She’s one of GEMMA’s regulars so she knows exactly how she likes her hair to be styled, but CARTWRIGHT has other plans this time.

MRS CARTWRIGHT

Do you know love, I’ve been thinking about doing something different with this mop.

GEMMA

(bemused, this has never happened before)

What’s brought this on?

MRS CARTWRIGHT

Well, our Ryan recorded the Oscars for me and I saw, erm, oh what’s her name? You’ll know who I mean. She were in that film years ago where they went into a casino and they had her all tied up.

GEMMA

I’m not sure, what does she look like?

MRS CARTWRIGHT

(really searching her brain)

She’s dark, and not a small lady either. You couldn’t tell under that frock, mind. Um, I don’t know love, I didn’t see it all t’way through.

(a pause. She searches the ceiling for any clue to the mystery woman and finds it)

She was a nun.

GEMMA

Ah, Sister Act?

MRS CARTWRIGHT

Aye, that’s it! Who [was she?]

GEMMA

It’ll be Whoopi Goldberg you’re thinking of.

MRS CARTWRIGHT

Yes, that’s her! It were rattling around in there somewhere. Anyway, I saw her and had a brainwave. What about dreadlocks? I’d be the most hipster Nan alive.

(GEMMA tries to hide her giggles.)

I’d be a Rastafari-nan!

(GEMMA can no longer contain herself)

You don’t think it’d suit me then?

GEMMA

(still giggling)

I think you look lovely as you are Mrs Cartwright.

MRS CARTWRIGHT

(with a glint in her eye)

You know what to do love.

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