The Boat Trip (screenplay excerpt)

INT. BEDROOM CABIN – DAY

There are two single beds in the cabin. One is empty and unmade, and in the other lies forty-nine year old Frank who is having a nap. He is a stocky man with short dark hair and stubble. He’s lying on his back snoring so loudly that he could scare small children. The window is slightly ajar.

EXT. FRONT OF THE BOAT – DAY

Jay, a short, nimble man in his mid thirties, is sitting on a deckchair with a bottle of Budweiser in hand. Frank’s snoring can be heard. Jay looks around tentatively, and seeing that he is alone, takes a swig from the bottle and climbs onto the side of the boat.

INT. BEDROOM CABIN – DAY

Frank is still sound asleep. He suddenly splutters, almost choking in his saliva, then rolls onto his side and drifts off to sleep.

EXT. SIDE OF THE BOAT – DAY

Side stepping along the edge, Jay slowly makes his way down the boat. With each cautious step he knows this will be worth the risk.

He is almost at the window when a huge seagull swoops down and soars straight past his head, squawking as it goes. It makes Jay jump and almost slip off the side of the boat.

JAY

(whisper shouting)

Fuck you!

He flags off the bird until it is almost out of sight. Composing himself, he gets back to the task in hand and continues towards the open window.

INT. BEDROOM CABIN – DAY

All is calm in the bedroom. Still snoring Frank rolls onto his back again, unaware of what is about to happen. Once Frank has found a comfortable position, Jay’s foot appears in the corner of the window. He carefully crouches down and pulls the window open some more, then slips inside and pounces on the sleeping Frank.

JAY

WASSAAP!

FRANK

(Obviously shocked)

What the fuck are you doing?

Jay is in hysterics.

FRANK

You’re a wanker. Fucking arsehole.

JAY

Woah mate, it was only a joke.

FRANK

Fuck you and your shit jokes. Fuck off out of my room.

JAY

Frank, lad, lighten up.

FRANK

Get fucked off before I throw you back through that fucking window.

JAY

Jeez man.

Not wanting to push him further, Jay takes the hint and leaves.

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